I’ve been thinking of sleep the last few days, because it’s been so elusive. When Lily first arrived, end of March, everything revolved around her sleeping, feeding, extrusion habits. I was so exhausted the minute I hit the bed, I was asleep and not waking til she had to get up to go. After about a month, I was a zombie, but thankfully she started sleeping from 10-6. About six weeks ago she stopped having pee accidents in the house. I don’t know whether it was her bladder maturing, or her fear after my meltdowns from fatigue and frustration, but she is wonderful now.
So back to my insomnia. Not sure what it’s from, perhaps my mind is whirring from all the activity on account of being on five dating sites. Yes, you read it right, five.
The thing is, the sleeplessness reminds me of those many long arduous nights when my children were small and WOULD NOT SLEEP. It took different forms for each. Aidan was wakeful at 5 months — people told me it was teething and would pass. But it didn’t. I was such a zombie, and trying to make a little money but the economy was bad, so both our incomes were suffering. Aidan was waking every hour, so I did what I do best — research. And I found Dr Ferber. Which is basically crying it out, but mom or dad goes in every five, ten, fifteen minutes to reassure the little sod. Only Tom would have none of it. While Aidan was screaming in his crib, Tom stormed downstairs, leaving me to deal. I would go in the prescribed five, ten, fifteen, etc minutes. Finally he stopped after an hour and 45 minutes. The next morning I prayed harder than I ever have — please dear God, please let him sleep tonight because I can’t stomach another night like that. And he did! For another six nights. Then on the 7th he started up again. But by then I’d had a taste of freedom, and sleep.
When Anna started crying in the middle of the night, I pulled out the old Ferber book for a refresher and tried it out. She would have none of it. I tried it for three solid weeks — an hour of screaming Every. Single. Night. I gave up. Tom and I took turns sleeping on her floor so that we were there when she woke up. We did this until she was eight years old.